Not enough?



Tonight as I was reading old blogs I looked down and realized what my problem is:

I literally wear my heart out there for all the world.  It’s there for the good and the bad, taking the beating as I work my way through life.  I have always thought my heart was everything that is good about me, turns out it is everything that is weak about me.

I remember not that long ago, I was feeling strong.  Maybe tomorrow I will feel strong again. I even blogged I felt empowered.  Now I find myself struggling with self-doubt.  Why am I not enough?  Why is my best not good enough?  Why am I coming up short?

I hate this feeling about myself.  I hate the weakness, the vulnerability.  The uncertainty.  I know, it’s the abandonment stuff.  How do I defeat it?  Will I always be afraid of being left?  Will it always be hiding in the corner waiting for me to let it in?




~ by cutefatgirl on August 25, 2011.

One Response to “Not enough?”

  1. *sigh* I so wish I had an answer for you, but I struggle with the same things – self-doubt, never feeling good enough, being “too” sensitive. It’s tough out there for those of us who wear our hearts on our sleeves. *big, fat, squooshy bewbie hugs & extra love*

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