Birthday Bliss, Lessons Learned & Change.

Can I just say my absolute favorite day ever is Lisa Brant day.  I had a great Birthday, and am celebrating all week actually.  I even got great presents: a shiny new bracelet, cake,  books, flowers, gift cards… and even a kindle.  I am liking 34 already.  All the love on facebook had this girl choked up.  Can’t wait for the rest of the week.  It’s slapped full of celebration.  When you have as many years as I do to celebrate it can’t be contained in one day.

Also with age comes reflection.  So much has changed in a year.  How quickly we are off the path we thought we were once on.  I know Change is good, necessary even.  I just don’t happen to be a fan of it.  As a girl with deep rooted abandonment issue, it is not my friend.  It makes me feel very uneasy, and kind of like I have been punched in the gut. Repeatedly.  No bueno.  I like it when things are the same.

I was walking around this nice path through the woods, it was scenic and safe, I just fucking looked down and I am on the top of a very high mountain – I don’t like it.  Things are shifting. They are different.  I am scared.  Things are changing.

I know life is an evolution, change is necessary.  Change hurts.  I like it safe, and right now I have no net on a very high mountain.


~ by cutefatgirl on August 24, 2011.

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