Takes you back…

A Facebook friend commented on a photo of me today, and I clicked it to read the comment.  It was a photo that took me back.  As I look at the picture, it was taken two days before the bottom fell out of my world.  I look so pretty.  Smiling, I remember that moment, I was texting Ry.  I was out with my sister and friends that I thought were lifers (turned out not to be true).  We were celebrating my 33rd birthday.  I was glowing.  Glowing.  The smile of a woman in the love of her life.  Everything about me was prettier… my hair, smile.  I sparkled.  You see our tattoo and my ring.  It was a lifetime  ago, not just months ago.  The days that followed this picture will torment me for the rest of my life.

This is a feeling I will never know again.  There is no feeling like your first honest-to-goodness love.  Knowing that there is this beautiful man that will forever be in your corner.  Embracing a family, your future and your dreams.  I will never play that near the fire again.

Luckily for me, I will also never feel that much pain again.  Progress has been slow, but I have found some peace in my life.  When I look at these pictures though, I really miss that girl.  She was a pretty awesome chick, I wish you could have met her.


~ by cutefatgirl on February 3, 2011.

6 Responses to “Takes you back…”

  1. Such a sad post today. I am sorry for your pain. I hope you can still know how beautiful you really are.

  2. I have met that girl. You are still that girl. You are still a pretty awesome chick. You’re smart, motivated, beautiful. Don’t give him the power to take that away. He’s so not worth it.

  3. Stace, Thanks. I just looked at the picture and feel broken. Like I am not who I was. Linda, not all sad. I am very content in my life…

  4. heartbreak is hard, but it gets easier.
    Sometimes I still remember things when I hear a certain song, 5 years later, but it’s a fleeting moment and then it’s gone…

  5. It can be jarring looking at a particular picture. And you aren’t always the same as who you were in the picture. That is ok. Where you are at now – is more knowledgeable about life’s lessons along the way.

  6. I’m sorry. I’ve been through heartbreak and I know it’s miserable.

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