and it will only get harder.

This has been a really tough couple of days.  Things I don’t want to talk about here, that is why I haven’t been around for a couple of days. I’ve learned some things though:

  1. A person is never truly yours.
  2. No need in being mad at God.
  3. Sleep is highly underrated – I could use some.
  4. Perception is not reality. That is a hard thing to take.  Who I thought I was – it turns out I wasn’t.

It gets even harder next week.  I am going back to Georgia to get my stuff.  Ironically when I was there this time last year, it was the best time of my life.  Going back will really signify the end of this era of my life.  I am nervous about being so close in proximity of R.  I am excited to see the Beams and Nonni and Grampa Tony.  To be so close to my boys and not see them,will break my heart completely.  Hurts my heart right now.  I continue to think of them often and send them love and life many times a day.  So keep me in your thoughts next week!


~ by cutefatgirl on October 21, 2010.

2 Responses to “and it will only get harder.”

  1. You are exactly who you’re supposed to be. Don’t give anyone the power to change that. Going back will be extremely hard, but you are strong and you can handle it. If I could go with you and be there for you I would. You know my number if you need to talk.

    Love you.

  2. Thank you Stace, I know I will be fine. I haven’t died thus far. It’s just like everything is really final.

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