Pj’s aren’t for the entire weekend.

I haven’t gotten dressed since I left work on Friday.  Pathetic at best.  Rebecca and I are babysitting the most precious baby, but I can’t enjoy it cause I miss my own babies.   He is curled up in my bed right now, but all I can thing about it right now Ry and the boys are getting ready for church.  I miss my family.  It hurts knowing they are moving on, and I can’t move.

I know this isn’t normal.  I know I have bought a ticket to crazy.  I feel like I am just waiting for my life to restart.  I know there are more important things in the world, I know women have lost way more than I have.  I know I am being a brat.  It still feels like it is the end of the world.  The end of my world.  I keep a gratitude journal, I know to be grateful for the things in my life.  I am grateful.  I still feel like I don’t have a soul.  I know no one has ever died of a broken heart, but how do you live again?

How do you those first steps?  This blog would be so munch more interesting if I, you know, got dressed and left the house.


~ by cutefatgirl on October 3, 2010.

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